sitting on a fancy bed in my in laws guest room my little family and i huddled around a computer screen to see new pictures of the sweet boy in Haiti with whom we fell in love. looking back i remember how his smile brightened each of our demeanor in a way that seemed intimate. only a few weeks into knowing him (read: stalking the rescue center blog) our two elementary aged kids began calling him brother. adoption had been on our tongue for years. our heart was in the right place and so was the heart of the two but timing could not have been worse. a new city, a job that just fell through, uncertainty about too much. we warned the kids to not get their hopes up but to instead pray for this special child and his forever family.
as we continued in our conversations about Ronel and Haiti i got the opportunity to visit his country. being that this was not the perfect time for me to buy plane tickets and head out i waited until the last minute to commit. i sold countless amount of tee shirts and raised most of my money by the time our plane took off. it was interesting trip sprinkled with friends who i had just met from the internet. together we walked down streets to see the land. we visited churches in small villages where they treated us like royalty. a water pump sat just outside the window of my room. it was the most beautiful sound i remember of our whole time in Haiti. children laughing, telling stories, brushing their teeth, carrying water buckets home. it was as if God was screaming to me the truth of who he is. our Living Water whom we need as much as these children and their families need this water. we need him to survive, to thrive, to laugh, to cry. yes, Living water. a few days into our trip we piled into the back of truck beds with tall cages attached to travel the roads to Cazale. this is the day i would meet Ronel. he has no clue who in the world i am. none at all. this was also the day that our friends Aaron and Jamie would reunite with their children. i think it was Aaron's first time to meet them. after getting off the truck i remember standing to the back of the group. i heard from the top floor of the RC "Papa, Papa" it was Amos calling (and jumping) for Aaron. it was one of the most beautiful things i have ever seen. even now tears are welling in my eyes.
you know what it is like to see film of old movies? it is slow and deliberate yet nervously bouncy. that is how i remember this day. as i was busy with different jobs i kept my eyes wide open for Ronel. Licia told me he would be around soon. we had talked briefly over email about him. with sweaty palms and a racing heart i noticed that all of a sudden he was right there in front of me. it took everything i had to remember how to move my legs in order to walk over to him. simply, i asked him if i could take a photo (remember: language barrier) of him. he said yes. i did. then i knew with all my heart i wanted one of us together. so i asked if he would take one with me. he said he would. later in that same day we colored together and played with bubbles. i tried my best to not stalk or scare him. i could tell by the spark in his eye that he knew i thought he was more than special.
before it was time to go i sat on the cement steps and just watched this child playing right here next to me. i prayed for him. i prayed for his forever family. wishing and hoping that somehow it could be us.
after being home a few weeks i tried to put meeting Ronel in a special place of my heart. it had been so good but there was no way that our family could adopt this little boy. as much as our heart wanted to we did not have the money to take on such an expensive thing. as many cups of water lay between Texas and Haiti that is how many problems seemed to be in the way for us committing to him.
one afternoon i opened up the laptop to find Licia had posted a new blog. it was titled i need a family to do some water walking. or something like that. it was about Ronel and his need for an adoptive family. and not later but soon. i was happy for him but so sad for us. i thought of him being with his family and even thought of what that would look like or what photos i might see. still wishing we could be his family, immediately i forwarded a link of the blog post to E at work. within seconds he responded back with that is a lot of to think about. and then even faster with a second reply... or maybe not. meaning it is not a lot to think about since we have thought about and prayed for months. we got on the phone and resolved this child needs a home, we have a home. this child needs a family, we have a family. this child needs love, we LOVE him. our fear was that we would never raise the money or the home study case worker would look at our funds and laugh at us. all we knew in that moment is that we loved Ronel and we needed to step out of the boat and try some water walking.
(i am currently editing this page. more of the story to come soon.)
