11.09.2015

The Adoption Letters: Dear Birth Mom


This is the first in a series of letters I'd like to call The Adoption 
Letters. The Adoption Letters will be written by moms/dads 
who've adopted, adoptees, and birth moms. If you would like to submit 
a letter to possibly be posted follow this link


To kick off The Adoption Letters I would like to share a letter I wrote to my Birth Mom. It is World Adoption Day. Maybe you've seen the posts and photos? I posted a picture of our family to celebrate along with All The People, because Yes! 

It is such a happy day, but still I imagine it may sting for some birth moms out there. So here I sit to tell you, Dear Birth Mom, the things I felt strongly to say to my very own Mary four years ago. I treasure this letter. I'm actually looking at the original copy in my hand right now. (The reason I have the original is for another day.) The only thing I have left to say is it took every ounce of moxie I could muster to write it, seal and send. She received it on my birthday. I did it. I lived. And I am here to share it with you. 






Dear Birth Mom, 

I am not sure how to even start such a letter. I believe we met today thirty five years ago in a hospital in Texas. 

I thought to find you and write to you because I was needing medical history. But truth, I just wanted to know if you were out there somewhere. I have asked my parents many questions about you over the years. Each question they answered with the information they had. I am grateful for that. 

I don't know what it's like to birth a child you cannot keep. Being a mom myself tells me it must be the very hardest thing. 

I want to thank you, Dear Birth Mom, for giving me life. I want to thank you for being the person that God placed my body to grow in. God chose you for me and me for you. I don't know why but I believe he doesn't do anything without reason. I choose to believe there is a beautiful story here. One that needs redemption, yes maybe, but still a beautiful story. 

I am not worried about your faults, or mine, your past, or mine. In this moment I am welcoming you into my space.

I am only thankful for you. 

I need you to know that. 

I assume you may want to know about me. I have been married fifteen years to a wonderful man. Together we have four kids. Carly is 13, Colton is 12, and Ronel is 11 (we adopted Ronel from Haiti last year), and Jude is 21 months. We live in the Houston area. We truly love each other even though we are far from perfect. I work as a photographer and dream to one day be a writer. I mentor young women and my husband pastors students. 

After adopting my son from Haiti and grieving the loss of his first mom my heart was opened. It was open enough to see I desire to know you while I have the chance.





I admit to often wondering how I may be similar to you. 

I am not sure if you are willing to meet me and share some of your story with me - yours and mine. 
If you are, I am ready. 

If I have siblings that are willing to meet me that would be welcome also. 

And...

If you choose to not meet me, and if siblings choose to not meet me, that is okay. I will be good. Please do not feel like you have to. You don't. I am just opening the door in case you want to come in. 


Today, thirty five years ago, I have no idea what you thought when you saw me for the first time. I do know that God planned us. There is a verse in the bible that says God created me, my inmost being, and he did it in my mother's womb (my paraphrase). 

The conception was not an accident, a confusion, or any other thing. It was on purpose and it is good. Your decision was good. I think of you every single year on my birthday. Today I am glad I get to tell you so. 

You, exactly who you are, and where you are, are special to me. Thank you Dear Birth Mom. Thank you for loving me and carrying me. 

Yours, 

Debra



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